May 1, 2001    
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How do you deal with your anger?

I am not really an angry person or I don't often get angry. But if I do get angry watch out because I will let you have it with both barrels as they say. I will tell you everything that has been on my mind about you or the situation that has angered me. But once I let it out I usually feel better, occassionally though I have to admit that I might feel a little guilty that I yelled. But once over and done with no more is said.

Marci, 56
Diamond
,
OH  USA

Minute by minute, day by day.

Jill, 60
Saylorsburg
, PA  USA

I generally bottle it up until I crack inside and start crying hysterically. If I don't bottle it up, I take it out on people that didn't hurt me. I don't deal well with anger...

PS. Any suggestions on how I can deal with it better?

Michelle T.
Bethelhem, PA

I don't get angry very often, but when I do I can usually defuse it by looking at the other person's point of view. (I've been known to vigorously spell out my opponent's side of a quarrel.)

Jane, 60
West Linn
, OR   USA

I usually just go in my room or my car, scream yell and throw things for a couple of minutes, then go and try to deal with the situation. Not the healthiest thing, but whatever works I guess.

Maggie, 20
Sandwich
, IL   USA

Mostly throw kicks @ the air till I'm tired. I wish I had a punching bag. Then, sometimes, I lie down and concentrate on breathing and stuff like that. Which is a more positive thing to do, I guess, but not as satisfying.

Karen, 21
Marshelltown/Ames
, IA USA

I try to avoid everyone because when I get angry the littlest things can set me off. I don't get angry very often, but when I do, watch out...

Jeremy, 14
Highlands Ranch
, CO  USA

Usually I try to deal with it as soon as possible. If my anger is because of someone, I try talking to them after I've collected my thoughts. If it's at a situation, I get my act together and try to change the situation. If I can't do anything for awhile, I usually work out or do something physical to keep my mind off it.

Katie, 25
Seminole
, FL   USA

Walk it off, drink it off. Depends on the level and what's available.

Alias Irrelevante

pretty much the same way I deal w/ stress-throwing and breaking things. Or going on a long drive w/ my music all the way up. Lately, it's been the latter b/c where I live, I would probably be disowned if I showed how angry I was all the time.

Angela, 16
Aiken
, SC   USA

I personally don't get angry, it is just a waste. But when other get angry I just walk away. There is no sense in being around others who can't control their feelings to express them in a calm manner.

Stephanie, 25
TX   USA

thats a good question. I think angry is something you become and unfortunatley other people have to deal with it and you. YOur own anger is usually resolved by someone else. Also it depends how easily you loose your rag, if it's over something simple and worthless, someone else has to set you striaght, if it's a matter of being treat unfairly then there has to be compramise.

Maria

Most of the time I tend to take a drive and just get away from whatever it is that really got under my skin. Driving is like a re-focus for me. I know I need to be very much aware of what's going on around me, and that gives me the opportunity to concentrate on something other than the problem at hand.   The passing of time, even 30 minutes or so, can sometimes help me get things back into perspective.

Fisch, 45
Preston
, CT   USA

Who said anything about being angry? I'm not often angry. I don't know if I have good self-esteem or not - it varies depending on how depressed I am at the time. But if somebody is upset with me, I usually assume it's my fault. I tend to only get minorly peeved at people who cut me off in traffic or something like that. Heck, I don't know. I don't have a good answer to this question.

etoile, 20
Washington
, DC  USA

In a unhealthy way. I hold it in.

Reba, 51
Rockville
, MD   USA

Oh, I try to put it into perspective. Like, there is no point in having a cow. I try to remember Marcus Aurelius, the Stoics, and all of those guys, and thinking of them, and their philosophy, it calms me down. Of course, I think of Socretes, who facing his wrongful execution, was perfectly calm because he stood by his principles. If he can not worry about taking hemlock, than I can deal with somebody cutting in front of me on the highway.

Mick, 30
Chicago
, IL   USA

I cry.

Talia, 23
Wilton
, CT   USA

Fortunately I don't really get angry very easily, and when I do I can cover it up pretty well. But if someone is really pissing me off, I just sit there with my arms crossed, scowl and give them the silent treatment. Very mature.

Shanna, 16
Cardiff  ENGLAND

Real anger... doesn't happen very often. When it does I try very hard to not respond right away.

In fact, just recently I was very angry about something at work. I thought about it for a couple of weeks, prayed over it and then wrote out a detailed memo explaining my perspective to my supervisor. I told her that I didn't want her to respond immediately. So we talked about it a few days  later. She took some more time to think it over and talk with her supervisor about it. In the end, it was pretty much resolved in my favor.

Cranky, irritable, over-in-a-few-minutes anger... most of the time I say something very sharp or sarcastic and immediately regret it. It's a part of myself that I don't like.

Laura, 36
Lowell
, MA    USA

I get loud, and stressed out, which brings on the canker sores & the smoking

Melodi, 19
Gahanna
, OH   USA

Not well, i turn it inward, i wouldn't dream of hurting anyone else, so i hurt myself instead....i sometimes cut, dig my fingernails, but i've been getting better, now i shred paper or play with prayer stones, call a friend, or write a letter, it helps. Sometimes when i'm really pissed i go driving, or running, or dance.

Sarah S., 17
Ithaca
, NY   USA

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