Nothing, I don't really believe in Satan. But, if he did appear, I still  don't think he could tempt me. I am not really into material things and an eternal life of brimstone and hellfire doesn't really make a sweet deal no matter what he offers. Anyway, I think I have been to hell and I don't really need to go back! But, I think I could take him in a fiddle contest. Bring on that golden fiddle baby! (I really hope someone else remembers that song!!)

Kathy, 26
Garden City, MI

Not much.

Rachel L
Toronto, Ontario CANADA

Well, Satan would tell me something like "For all of the evil that you have performed in such a short amount of time, you will be rewarded with eternal damnation." But, since I don't believe in Satan, I think I am OK.

Kate, 19
Bellingham, WA

damn girl, slow it down. you're too ambitious.

Angela, 16
Bella Vista, AK

Surprise! You didn't believe I existed.

Jane, 60
West Linn, OR

Where's that guy you used to work for?

Jami, 27
Lowell, MA

Hello, son. Ready to help burn away all of this bullshit?"
No, really. I'm sure he'd start talking about sports or politics, his two greatest deceptions. They are the basis of all banal conversations and have done more to keep mankind from reaching divinity than all war and sex

Anthony, 25
Baton Rouge, LA

"No, Amy, you don't need to work on your thesis. Look! I have chocolate, coffee, cigarettes, and thousands of dollars worth of books. What do you need a Masters' degree for?"

Amy, 23
Baton Rouge, LA

Are you sure that's really the way it's supposed to be?

Laura, 35
Lowell, MA

You are entitled to be ill-tempered because you are much more sensitive than other people and you have too much to carry.

Jill, 59
Saylorsburg, PA

Why don't you take it easy and just relax. I really don't see the harm in conducting a 72 hour TV-watching-athon. You're friends will understand if you don't call them back, afterall another episode of E! Fashion Emergency is on.

Felicia, 34
Somerville, MA

Hello. Don't be affraid. I've been misunderstood. Let me try to explain a few things. I'm not someone who fights for evil, and I myself am not an evil being. I believe in freedom, and I sacraficed imortality to give it to you. Evil is a manmade thing, and my quest for your freedom has brought out the worst, as well as the best, in you and the rest of the human race.  That being said, you want to go snort some cocaine and kill some small children?

Socrates One
Lowell, MA

If Satan were here right now, he would probably say listen to heavy metal music, watch TV all day, and eat as much as you want...and you will be happy and not have to suffer any consequences.

Ernest, 28
Washington, DC

The horns? Only there to distract from the bald spot.

Alias Irrelevante

I have absolutely no track of the sins i have commited, there are so many. He'd probably let me off with a warning (hopefully!).

Gavin
Sydney AUSTRAILA

I don't believe in Satan.

Nikki, 27
Kirkham ENGLAND

I don't know. I'm not Satan. "Emily isn't evil.  She's just up to no good."

Karen, 20
Marshelltown/Ames, IA

Hey, Janet what's up? Haven't heard from you in a while.

Janet, 42
E. Brunswick, NJ

"you really need to be aware of your own limitations and be willing to settle with where you are because risking more could hurt you in the long run. . ."

mothmc, 35
Pensacola, FL

Yesterday / Tomorrow