March 11, 2000    
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What is the mentally most difficult thing you have ever done?

Accepting the fact that my son was dead.

Jill, 59
Saylorsburg,
PA

We-e-e-ellllllll. . .first let me say that I'm not completely egocentric. I  love my friends' poems, and I love Emerson and Keats and Jewel.  But! My own poems are closest to my heart. . .I have a lot of favorites (hey, it's hard to pick from the 321 I currently have stored on my computer), and some of them are inappropriate for this forum.  There are also some linked to my site at http://www.karen.black.org/write.htmlm   -- but let's see what I can come up with. Hmm, some of my favorites are in French, incidentally. Okay. Keeping in mind that I don't want to put anything up that I wouldn't want certain parties to read, and also keeping in mind that I don't think it's good policy to submit the same poem to more than one place at once, let's go with this one. I wrote it when my mom was in the hospital and so was the wife of a well-known Ames citizen. . .

Farwell
by Karen Black, 10/18/99

I know what it’s like. . .
I know.
It’s such a weight,
it feels like
there’s a cartoon anvil
on your chest.
Just sitting there,
putting a light pressure on you,
looming,
waiting to crush you,
push the breath right out of you.
And I know
that everybody else is sorry
but they can’t be sorry enough.

Karen, 20
Marshelltown/Ames, IA

Mental, or psychological? Mentally I had a hard time grasping physics. Psychologically. . .I've had trouble breaking up with guys 'cuz I felt guilty, and another difficult thing is realizing that you've broken a promise to yourself and there's no going back from that--you just have to adjust. I'm sure there are other things, but I can't think of them right now.

Karen, 20
Marshelltown/Ames,
IA

I'm doing it now: writing my masters' thesis, teaching a comp class, and trying to have a life all at the same time.

Amy, 23
Baton Rouge,
LA

The logic section of the GRE.
I gave myself aphasia doing that damn thing and didn't speak for 2 days after.

Anthony, 24
Baton Rouge,
LA

I have major problems asking my mom for things. That's up there on the list. Also, the last couple years of school have been h-e-double-hockey-sticks on me emotionally. Getting baptized was a nerve racking experience too, but worth it.

Elizabeth, 18
Rochester,
MN

That would probably be when I took an algebra class, four times.

Ernest, 28
Washington,
DC

On many occasions I've tried to understand people.

Alias Irrelevante

Taking an IQ test.

Shayna, 28
Somerville,
MA

Climbing past the third rung on a ladder. I finally accomplished it two years ago working at a Habitat for Humanity worksite. Up to that point, going beyond the third rung filled me with fear, but it was me, or the siding didn't go up.... so I did it.

Laura, 35
Lowell,
MA

Mental / emotional, getting out of the depression that resulted at the end of a long term relationship.  I wasn't prepared for the wrenching saddness and the feeling of utter betrayal (he left me for another woman and ultimately married her).  It was the single most exhausting event of my life (depression lasted almost as long as the relationship).  I never thought I would have reacted the way I did to the whole situation.

Felicia, 34
Somerville, MA

I have scoliosis, and had to wear a back brace for about 3 1/2 years when I was in high school (NOT the time to be different from everyone else) to correct my crooked spine. Every day was a challenge for me: having to deal with girls staring at me in the women's locker room during PE, people asking me questions about it all the time...it was pretty hard. Thankfully, the brace helped my back, and I have much better posture than I did a couple of years ago (and a much healthier spine). However, those few years were probably the toughest of my life.

Nicole
Elk Grove, CA

Keeping my perspective and sanity in the mental institution. . ..

mothmc, 35
Pensacola,
FL

There isn't one particular thing, rather a combination of events. In the space of 12 months I left home, bought a house, got married, my grandfather died, one of my closest friends mother died and also one of my best friends died in childbirth.

Nikki, 27
Kirkham ENGLAND

Yesterday / Tomorrow